schizophrenia

Everybody knew him as Johnny. Johnny was a quiet boy, kept to himself and hid behind books that, if he were truthful, he never read. He watched from a distance, sighing inwardly, wishing he could play along with the other kids in the playground. He thought he could be a good swing pusher; he wouldn’t even argue with the other children as to who gets to swing next. He would just push. He didn’t mind.

Jealousy spread through the veins in his heart wishing he was another normal child laughing and squealing in delight at the ball being thrown around the sand pit. Every now and again the children would run up to him and smile widely at him, inviting him to play with them as if they were wondering why he wasn’t with them in the first place.

“Come and play! Come and play ball!” They’d say.

But Johnny was too painfully shy. Whenever the children approached, he would just stare at them with his heart pounding 100 miles per hour.

Travis, on the other hand was the total opposite. He was the life of the party. But at that age, he would be called the king of the sand pit. His classmates would follow him around everywhere and ask him to throw the ball at them instead of to anyone else. He never had any problem making new friends, or getting praise from the teachers. Instead of him arguing for his turn to play on the swings, his friends would ask him if he would like to go next.

But Johnny was never jealous of Travis. He never said anything. He didn’t even want to be him. All he wanted was to be a part of the group of what they called “friends”. He hoped that maybe he could even find someone to call his “best friend”.

One day, Johnny’s parents came to school and he had to sit outside of the class while they were inside his classroom speaking to his teacher, Ms. Clare. He hummed inside his head swinging his legs as he sat on the too-high chair. In the back of his mind he wondered why mommy and daddy were there. They never came together to pick him. But he just pushed the thought aside hoping that it was probably nothing.

Click, the door opens. Johnny jumps off the chair and beams at his mommy. His beam is met with a look of concern and tear-stained eyes. Immediately Johnny knew something was wrong. Daddy came out with a look of shock and anger. Johnny thought he was in trouble.

Silently Johnny’s parents brought him into the car. Inside, his mother began asking him: “Are you okay honey?”  “Do you feel alright?” She looked on the verge of crying. Johnny just nodded and smiled, like he always did. He hoped that if he acted normal, nothing would be wrong anymore. Shortly after, they pulled up outside the hospital.

“Hi Johnny, my name is Dr. Zoe.” The kind looking lady with the big white jacket said to Johnny. Johnny hid behind his mother as he always did whilst meeting new people.

“Why don’t you come take a seat right here, Johnny.” She smiled and patted a wooden chair in front of her. 

Reluctantly, Johnny looked up at his mom and his mom smiled at him encouraging him to follow what the doctor said. So, slowly Johnny moved toward the seat away from his mothers behind and sat down looking at his lap.

“Johnny, would you like a sweet?” the doctor showed him a bowl of green and red sweets.

Johnny flinched.

“which one would you like Johnny?”

He looked at his mom and dad. His parents nodded and smiled at him, telling him it was okay, just do what the nice lady said.

“which colour is your favourite?” the lady asked again.

“R-red.” Johnny stuttered.

“go ahead and pick your favourite colour then Johnny.” Dr. Zoe said.

Johnny wondered why she put so much emphasis on his name when she said it.

So Johnny reached into the bowl and was about to pick a red coloured sweet when he flinched again.

Johnny shook his head and tried to keep focus, knowing what was happening. He forced himself to pick up the red sweet when he got attacked by a fit of twitches.

When the twitches were done, Travis looked up at the lady then looked at his hand.

“ew. I don’t like red.” said Travis.

He threw the red sweet back into the bowl and picked up a green one, immediately opening it up and tossing the sweet into his mouth.

The doctor sighed. “I’m fairly certain, its Schizophrenia” 

Travis watched in confusion as his mother burst into tears and his dad just sat there holding his mom.

The parents now knew, that what the teacher said in school earlier that day was true. That when the teacher watches her students from the window, she’d always notice how there was one kid standing at the corner just watching the other children laughing and she knew that child was Johnny, and that Johnny was just shy. She always encouraged the other pre-schoolers to invite him to play. But he’d always just freeze up when they approached him.

But on some other days she would see a child running around with the other children laughing and throwing balls. She would watch that boy talk and laugh with his friends, always being the centre of everyone’s attention, and she knew that child would grow up to become a leader one day. However as the teacher watched, she experienced a very confused and scared feeling; that child that all the children seem to love? He looked the splitting image of the shy and afraid boy Johnny.

When finally the teacher decided to ask some of the students, the children only said: “Travis is the best swing pusher ever!” Or they would say “Travis is the best ball thrower!” and then they’d get a little confused when the teacher asked about Johnny. They would then say: “who’s Johnny? That boy who doesn’t want to play? No? That’s Travis! He just doesn’t want to play sometimes.”  

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hello!

so, awhile ago i entered the schools essay writing competition, and i was going to post it up here, but i decided i would only post it if i won

and i won. 

so here it is! hahah

this story was inspired by a very good and close friend of mine, Bryan. when i was thinking of what to write for the competition (it was a free topic) i asked him for suggestions and he suggested something along the lines of a person having split personality 

or, as you now know it, schizophrenia.

so you owe this story to him! hehe.

that's all for now

till the next,

Jess